


Stuck in My Brain

by protectbucky



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Eggsy Unwin Needs a Hug, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, POV Eggsy Unwin, Roxy Is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:01:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25824799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/protectbucky/pseuds/protectbucky
Summary: Your typical drunk-dialing fluff.
Relationships: Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 93





	Stuck in My Brain

**Author's Note:**

> This is a rewrite of an old Supernatural RPF -yes, I used to write RPF in like 2016, I'm a different person now, I have changed- but set in the Kingsman universe. That's it, that's the fic. Shameless angst and fluff. No regrets, luvs x

  
Eggsy was staring at the bottom of his glass after probably the sixth or seventh shot of something Roxy ordered - he didn't really care.

He didn't feel heartbroken, just... empty. Harry's absence bothered him. He promised to go out with them tonight to their weekly off-steam drinking. It was basically tradition between Eggsy and Roxy at this point; since they saved the world a few times, they figured they could have a night off each week and gulp down a little alcohol. Eggsy was looking forward to this evening even more than to the others: after months of convincing, Harry was finally not 'sorry, my boy, I'm too busy tonight' and agreed to go. Yet there Eggsy was, alone at the table, waiting for Roxy to come back with the next round. He knew the exact reason Harry didn't show: they had a terrible argument earlier that day at the shop. He really didn't mean to get into a fight, but his anxiety had been boiling for months. Harry was sent on another mission, leaving in three days, completely alone. When Eggsy wanted to have a go at Merlin about not sending Harry on solo missions since it's only been a year since he was back from the dead, Harry stopped him and admitted he took the mission himself. He wasn't assigned. And Eggsy was already mad. But behind his anger lied an immense concern for Harry's well-being he tried to cover up. So before he could contain himself, the 'Harry, we've talked about this' escaped his mouth and resulted in the outburst of months of concealed nervousness and worry. Eggsy felt terrible. He had no intension of hurting Harry, but the way the older man stormed out of the conference room suggested he had indeed.

So when Roxy arrived back at their table, two shots of tequila in her hands, he drained the shot glass immediately, trying to forget the day. He knew what Roxy was doing; trying her best to make him think of anything but Harry.

"Eggsy. Hey, Eggsy" she smiled and leaned closer, alcohol on her breath. "The bartender just totally checked me out."

Eggsy sighed, twisting the little glass between his fingers. "You're drunk and you have a girlfriend, Rox" he said, words slurring together a little.

"Yeah.. Yeah. True. I bloody do" she beamed. "Besides, he checked you out too."

Eggsy know where this was going. He appreciated Roxy, but he really didn't need a one night stand now. "Are you surprised?" he replied anyway, smirking. "I'm hot as hell, bruv."

Roxy laughed. "You know.. You could use something like that right now" she said.

So there it is. Cat's out of the bag.

"Like.. A dude. A dick" Roxy mumbled, waving at the bartender, signalling for two beers. "I don't know, Eggsy. You still look like shit."

"Thanks for the compliment" Eggsy said, inspecting the bottom of the empty glass.

"Seriously, Eggsy, I'm concerned" Roxy added, trying to sober up a little. "I just got you drunk. I don't know what else to do. I know you feel miserable, so I figured, you know.. you should get boned."

"Oh god just fucking shut up" Eggsy groaned, putting his face in his hands. "When I told you I'm bi, I didn't mean I'm gonna jump on the first dude I see."

"I know, you git" Roxy said, shaking her head. The beers arrived at their table and Roxy flashed her charming smile at the bartender. They both took a sip as a comfortable silence set in between them. Roxy broke it eventually. "I just want you to forget about Harry."

Eggsy nearly spat out his beer. "Forget" he gasped, "forget about him why exactly, Rox?" Shit. She knew.

"Oh, don't be an idiot, Eggsy" she rolled her eyes. "Everyone knows except for you two. It's hard to watch, really. Second hand embarassement and all that."

They sat in silence for a while, Eggsy contemplating Roxy's words. His drunk thoughts racing, or at least trying to race. Roxy finished her beer and ordered another one. Sometimes it still astonished Eggsy how despite being an elegant and posh lady, Roxy could gulp down a beer in two minutes and shamelessly talk to Eggsy about getting laid.

"I really don't wanna get boned by anyone else" Eggsy whispered quietly. Then he realized what he just said.

Roxy stared at him for a second, then they both burst out laughing. The kind of drunk laughter that seems unstoppable and makes no sense. Eggsy actually felt better for a moment, until his phone buzzed. He shoved it out of his pocket, hoping it was a text from Harry. Of course it wasn't. It was Merlin, asking him to send in his mission report from a few days ago. He couldn't care less about that at the moment. He'll reply later. Suddenly, he had an idea.

"Roxy, bruv. Hey. I gotta.. Go to the bathroom" he said, tapping Roxy's shoulder. 

"Can you even make it there?" Roxy laughed. "I sure as hell couldn't." 

Eggsy stood slowly and felt the bar spin around him. It's alright. He could make it. He'd been in tougher situations before. Stumbling and clearly drunk, he made his way to the back of the pub. The place wasn't too crowded - only a few people drinking in small groups, having the time of their lives. Music still loud enough to get people in a great mood. He and Roxy liked this place: they could always easily get a table under a wooden window in one of the corners, drink their favorite handmade beer and anything else they had the mood for. It was a typical English pub: wood covering every visible surface, walls disappearing in the dim light with their dark green tapestry. A Union Jack hanging above the bar, shelves covered with various types of British beer. It felt cozy. Almost like home.

He got to the little passageway next to the bar that lead to the loo. He agressively ignored a couple kissing in the dim light as he opened the bathroom door.

He sunk to the ground. He wasn't really sure what he was doing. He just pulled out his phone and dialed.

Harry had to pick up. Eggsy tried so many times after Harry left the conference room, but all of his calls went to voicemail. The glasses didn't work either: looks like Harry turned them off. Usually even when they had a little disagreement, Harry answered regardless, mainly out of the fear that Eggsy would do something stupid. But the phone just kept ringing again. Voicemail. Not giving a shit, Eggsy pressed the call button once more. He kept the phone close to his ear and closed his eyes. The beeping came to a sudden stop.

"Eggsy?" A familiar, but angry voice said.

He finally heard his voice, no matter how pissed it was. It was his. And it was beautiful as always. His legs started shaking. He should say something.

"Eggsy" Harry repeated on the other end of the line. "It's 1AM. Care to tell me why you're calling this late?"

"To..." Eggsy hummed. "To ask how you're doing?"

"Christ, Eggsy" Harry groaned. "As I said, it's one in the bloody morning."

"You know what? I don't care." Eggsy blurted out. What the hell was he doing? "I really don't care anymore. You can't blame this on me."

"What on Earth are you talking about?" Harry asked, the building anger plain and obvius in his voice.

"I'm talking 'bout this whole shit" Eggsy replied, knowing he was screwing everything up. He didn't care. He had to get it all off his chest. "Don't blame it on me. Don't... I ain't a shitty person just 'cause I want to keep you safe." The other end was dead silent. "'Cause I don't want you to fucking vanish again. And then forget me. You can't, 'arry, you can't forget me again." Eggsy felt something running down his cheeks. When did he start crying?

"You're drunk." Harry said dryly.

"I'm not. I'm.. No. I'm perfectly sober." Eggsy took a deep breath, trying to make himself believe what he just said, but the twisting lines of the bathroom mirror proved him wrong.

"Where are you?" Harry's voice rang through the line, a bit softer this time.

"At.. At the bar. You know. Two or.. Three streets down my place. I don't know." He really didn't. He was too drunk to remember anything but the color of Harry's eyes.

"Alone?" Harry asked, starting to sound concerned.

"With Rox. She's bloody drunk, bruv. Legless."

He could picture Harry rolling his eyes at that.

"I'll pick you up."

Eggsy barely registered the words. "What? No. No, you don't have to.."

But Harry already hung up.

"Brilliant. Just fucking... brilliant" Eggsy hummed to himself. Why did he even go through with it? Calling Harry didn't even seem like a good idea in the first place. Now he's just gonna dash in here in his beautiful suit, take Eggsy home like a fucking baby. And he will probably be even more mad at him for drunk dialing in the middle of the night. Eggsy grabbed on to the edge of the sink and tried to stand. After a few miserable faliures he was finally back on his feet. 

When he got to their table, he couldn't find see Roxy anywhere. He went to ask the bartender.

"Have you.. he stumbled, taking one of the seats and puttung his elbows on the counter for support. "Have you seen the lady I was with?. The blonde. Fierce looking. Like she could easily kill you. You know."

The man smiled at him.

"She almost threw up so she called herself a cab." Eggsy looked up in suspicion. "Don't worry, she seemed to know the cabbie. Lad got here pretty fast."

Eggsy rolled his eyes. He wasn't mad at Roxy for taking a Kingsman cab home. She was hammered, and they had a meeting in the morning. Also, he left her alone for God knows how long. "Then pass me another pint."

"I don't think that's a good idea" the man smiled kindly. "You seem to have had many. Maybe you should get some fresh air."

Eggsy groaned but complied. The man was right: he could barely see the floor below his feet. He pushed open the double door and stepped out into the cold air. The night life of London surrounded him. He took a deep breath and put his hands in his pocket, fishing out a cigarette. He didn't smoke much; mostly only on drunken nights.

He felt lost. Standing out there by himself, he thought of Roxy, hoping she was home already. Merlin, something about Merlin... Oh, right. He had to send in the mission report. He'd written it before, so he just has to turn it in. Easy. He'd do it tomorrow. At the HQ, in his office. He had an office now. How strange. It was right next to Harry's. They would wait for each other at the shop each morning, take the tube together. Chatting on their way to their offices. And when they had nothing to do, they would go out and take a walk on the acres of ground Kingsman owned. Harry. It had been a while since the phone call. Maybe he forgot. Maybe he just simply didn't want to drive across the city to pick up his drunk mentee. Eggsy smiled sadly to himself. Of course he would do something stupid and lose Harry eventually. That's just his luck. He really didn't mean to snap at him like that. He said things he didn't mean: 'I'm oly saying this 'cause you're not fully recovered! You can't handle the field alone!' How stupid. Of course Harry could handle the field. He was the most brilliant and skilled person Eggsy has ever met. It wasn't about Harry, obviously. It was about him not being able to go through the pain again. The fact that Harry was back didn't help him get rid of his nightmares. Each morning when Harry stumbled in to the shop, Eggsy breathed with a sigh of relief, comforted by the man's presence. He was okay. He was here. Alive. 'He gretted me by my name. He remembers.'

An unfamiliar voice interrupted his blurry thoughts.

"Hey, you. Adidas. What are you doing out here alone?"

Eggsy sighed heavily and blew out a puff of smoke. Not this, not now. He was busy being melancholic. He slowly lifted his head and took in the shaky sight of the three teenage "badboys" calling him out.

"Havin' a smoke, I s'pose" he replied nonchalantly.

"Hard day, huh?" One of the boys teased as they came close. A far as Eggsy could tell, they haven't reached their twenties yet. Only one of them came close in hight to Eggsy: he must be a walking tower compared to everyone else in his high school. He had blond hair and strong acne, wore a leather jacket with ripped jeans, chains around his waist. The one on his right was a skinny, confused-looking kid who probably went along with the whole thing because of peer pressure. The on who did the talking, a boy in a baseball cap, now took a step closer to Eggsy and flashed a gun in his pocket.

"Don't worry. We're not trying to hurt you" he teased. "Just give us a little dosh. You seem to have a shit ton with all that gear." They all grinned.

"I would actually give you some if I knew you'd spend it on college to educate your stupid ass." Eggsy shot back. The smile immediately vanished from their faces.

"That's it, knob." The tallest one said as he raised his hand to give Eggsy a good old slap. Eggsy knew he was too drunk to defend himself properly, but even in that state, his hand shot up automatically to block the bloke's fist. God bless Kingsman and their intense reflex training. A couple more tries from the tall guy and the leader had enough; he pulled out his gun and pointed it at Eggsy. Eggsy didn't even flinch. He was unarmed, but a gun pointed at his face was a familiar sight. 

"Shoot me" he grinned, knowing the boy couldn't bring himself to do it. He looked like an annoying high schooler, not a murderer. His hands were shaking behind the gun.

"Put that down." The voice sent shivers down Eggsy's spine. He grinned. Harry Hart was standing behing the boys, posh as always, seemingly unarmed. There was a confused look on the boys' faces for a second, before the one with the gun spoke. "Who invited a fucking rent boy to this party?"

Just like Eggsy at the sight of the gun, Harry didn't flinch. He pulled out two Kingsman guns instead. Fucking showoff, Eggsy thought. The boys remained silent as Harry inspected the guns in his hand, turning them upside down, like he was really interested in something.

"Well" he said finally," looks like I'm already overpowered. And don't make me mention that I also have a hand grenade." Eggsy didn't need to see the boys' faces to notice their terror. They were stiff like a board. Harry didn't have to say more, they took off, running as fast as they could.

"Woah" Eggsy said, tone a little mocking. "Looks like my guardian angel has arrived." Harry didn't smile at the comment.

"Just get in the car." He said, and Eggsy obeyed.

The drive to Eggsy's place was quiet. Eggsy wanted to say something, but each time he tried to speak up, his brain felt like a block of bricks, and he knew he was drunk anyway; anything he's say would only mess things up even more.

Pulling in to Eggsy's street, Harry parked the car in front of the boy's house. Before Eggsy could register he was alone, the door on his side opened and two strong arms helped him get to his feet on the street. Harry kept his hands around Eggsy's waist, helping him walk steadily up to the door.

"Do you have your keys?"

Eggsy nodded and pulled them out of his pocket. He fumbled around for a bit before unlocking the door. But he didn't step inside.

"'Arry." He turned back, facing the other man. "You need to listen."

"No. You need to sleep. Good night, Eggsy."

But Eggsy gently caught Harry's wrist before he could walk back to the car. Harry looked at him, surprised by the action, but didn't flinch away.

"No. No, you really need to listen" Eggsy started rambling. "I know I'm.. A bit drunk. Just a little. But that don't make a difference. I'm sorry for being a dick earlier today. And sorry for waking you up in the middle of the fucking night. I just..." He stopped, unsure how to continue. He felt the stream on his cheek again. Fucking hell. Not now. Don't fucking cry. "God, I'm an idiot" he whispered. He felt Harry's warm hand on his shoulder.

"Eggsy" he said, voice soft this time. "Let's go inside, shall we? Make a cup of tea." Eggsy nodded and felt Harry put his hands aroun his waist again, guiding him in to the living room. Eggsy loved how familiar Harry moved around in his home; he'd been here a lot, almost each Friday, to relax a little. They'd watch movies and talk about work, sitting on the couch at a safe distance, usually JB between them. But now when Eggsy threw himself down on the couch, he still had tears in his eyes. He didn't notice when Harry made his way to the kitchen, his eyes only drifted up when the man returned with two cups of steaming, hot tea. He handed one to Eggsy and sat beside him.

When he saw Eggsy's confused look, he just shrugged. "I believe this is better than standing in the cold."

They sat quietly for a few minutes, only Eggsy's sniffs breaking the silence.

"I'm really stupid" Eggsy whispered.

"Nonsense" Harry replied. "But do elaborate."

Eggsy knew it was now or never. So he did. "I didn't mean any of that bullshit. I know you're good enough to go on your own" he started, little surprised that he sobered enough to form coherent sentences. "I was... shit, 'arry, I was fucking scared. Haven't had a good night's sleep since Kentucky. I'm fucking terrified, all the time." The tears were back. "I know I'm s'posed to remember the training. Put the emotions aside. Focus on the job. But at the end of every fucking day when we say goodbye, I'm scared it's the last one." Eggsy looked over to Harry. He couldn't read the emotion on the man's face clearly. Surprise? Mixed with bitterness? "I'm sorry" he continued anyway. "But I just can't pretend to be okay when I'm scared all the time. I wouldn't survive losing you again."

Harry slowly slid closer to Eggsy on the couch. "I'm sorry, my boy. I had no idea you felt like that" he said, pulling Eggsy into a hug. Eggsy buried his head in Harry's neck, taking in his scent. He wished they could stay like that forever. He wished Harry would feel more, too. He weeped quietly as Harry ran his hands up and down on his back.

"It's okay" the older man whispered. "It's okay, dear. I'm here now. I'm here." Eggsy felt so relaxed, he almost didn't notice the nickname. Dear? Has Harry called him that before? Not that he could think of. Has Harry called anyone else that before? Definitely not. His heart began racing.

"I'm not mad at you" Harry whispered again. "I was hurt by your comments, yes. But I'm not mad at you."

Eggsy lifted his head and looked Harry in the eye. Faces so close their noses were almost touching. Still feeling a little drunk, Eggsy decided he might as well do something stupid. "I'm gonna ruin everything" he said as he closed the distance between their lips. Surprisingly, Harry kissed him back right away. The kiss was everything he expected. He melted into Harry's arms. They broke apart after a few seconds. Eggsy stared at Harry, terrified the man would push him away.

"How don't you have alcohol posioning yet" Harry said instead. "I got drunk just kissing you."

Eggsy laughed. "That sounds fucking poetic." He couldn't believe what was going on. Harry pulled him in again.

After a few minutes, they sat on the couch, their foreheads pressed together.

"You should really get some rest" Harry said. So Eggsy pushed the man down on the couch and cuddled up to him, his head resting on Harry's chest. He felt Harry's arms wrap around him.

"Eggsy?"

"Yes?"

"Would you have done this if you were sober?"

"Without a doubt. Now let me sleep."

Drifting off in the comfort of Harry's arms, Eggsy could still hear the older man whisper quietly. "Fucking finally."

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my profile if you liked this stuff. :)


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